


Fancy the Elf Lord

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 12:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16912602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kili is interested in courting you.  But instead of talking to you outright, he pulls pranks on you for your attention.  When that backfires, you call in some extra aid to get even.





	Fancy the Elf Lord

“Kili!”  You screamed as Bofur stood next to you, trying to suppress his laugh at the state you were in.  This was now the third time this week that you had been the target of a prank by Kili.  The first one was that he had filled your room with birds.  Don’t know how he did it, but he did.  You opened your door and out flew a ton of birds.  It took two days to get all the bird poop cleaned up, even with Ori’s help.

 

The second one was while you were having lunch with Dwalin, Balin, and Thorin.  You took a bite of your sandwich that had been brought up from the kitchen with everyone else’s food.  You chewed a couple times, wondering what was causing that crunching…  You ended up sick after that prank.  I mean, who wouldn’t lose their lunch when they realized there was bugs in their sandwiches.  Luckily for you, Thorin and Dwalin were like the big brothers you never had.  Kili was put through the ringer in training that night.

 

But this time, it was the final straw.  Bofur helped you clean up as much as you could, from the green goo that had been hanging over your door in a bucket and landed all over you.  You were on the verge of tears while the kind dwarf helped you. 

 

“Oh, lass.  It will be okay.  He just does it because he likes you is all.  It is how he shows his affection.”  Bofur tried to calm you as you were visibly shaking.  From anger or pain, he wasn’t sure, so he just helped as much as he could.

 

“This is NOT how someone tells another they like them!”  You screamed at Bofur.  Bofur had become your confidant.  He knew how deep your feelings for the dark haired prince were, but after these pranks, you were beginning to question your feelings. 

 

“I know, lass.  Would you like me to have a word with him?”  He offered as you wiped your face off. 

 

“No.  Don’t want to…give him the satisfaction.”  You said, your spirit feeling defeated. 

 

Bofur just sighed as he nodded and said his goodbyes so you could take a bath.  He offered to send someone up to help clean the mess at the door, for which you were most thankful.  And then he was gone.

 

Kili had tried to stop by your room that night.  You were in, but you ignored his knocks.  Based on his tone, you could tell someone had words with him about his pranks.  But you didn’t want to see him, you didn’t even want to hear him.  You just wanted to be left alone. 

 

000

 

The next day, you were out and about, getting things ready for the celebration.  Thorin was holding a celebration, now that the dwarves had returned to the mountain.  There would be people from Mirkwood, Dale, and all of the dwarven kingdoms there.  And you were given a great honor, seeing to King Thranduil.  Well, it would have been an honor if it wasn’t for the fact you were given the assignment because you were the only one who could tolerate him for long periods of time… 

 

“You seem distracted today.”  Thranduil spoke to you softly as you walked down the hallway.

 

“My apologies.  I had a rough night.”  You said honestly.  You learned early on that Thranduil could pick up on little things, and he would needle you about it until he got to the truth, so you just saved yourself the trouble and explained what happened.

 

“Odd way of courting, if you ask me.”  Thranduil said with a bite to his voice.  You could tell he was just as angry about the pranks as you.  It was nice to have someone on your side.  “If I may offer some advice?” 

 

You looked up to the elf and nodded, curious as to what he would say about the whole ordeal.

 

“Perhaps you should show him what it is like, to be on the receiving end?” 

 

“You are telling me to get even?”  You were in shock.  The always well behaved elf king was telling you to get even and play a prank of your own?  Were you dreaming?! 

 

“Perhaps.” 

 

The rest of the walk was in silence, until you hit the grand hall.  You faltered when you saw Kili standing there with Fili.  You had successfully dodged him all day, but there was no way around it this time.  You sighed as you walked beside Thranduil to the doors. 

 

“Y/n!  There you are! I have been looking for you all day!”  Kili said with a cheeky smile.  “I wanted to make sure you got my…present, yesterday.”  He gave you a wink, and you knew he was poking fun at the joke. 

 

Your blood boiled as you glared at him.  Fili put a hand out on Kili’s shoulder, trying to reign in his brother, but Kili didn’t pick up the hint, still making jokes about green goo and surprises and presents and such.  “Lord Thranduil?  Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”  You asked, interrupting Kili to do so. 

 

The dwarf seemed dumbstruck as the elf nodded, a smile on his face as he turned and walked into the meeting room.  You turned away as well, sending a glare towards Kili as you did so, preparing the best prank you have ever done.

 

000

 

Two nights later, you sat at the head table next to Thranduil.  After asking for a huge favor, he insisted you get to see your prank first hand, so he had you be his escort to the party so you could sit at the head table.  What was even better was the sour look on Kili’s face, who was on the other side of Thorin and Fili, as he saw you talking with the King. 

 

The food had been served and the meal completed, so now it was time for all to get up and dance.  “Is everything ready?”  You whispered to Thranduil, but Thorin did not miss it.  He saw that look in your eye and he raised an eyebrow.

 

“Y/n.  What do you have planned?”

 

“A bit of revenge for one who does not know how to court properly.”  Thranduil answered for you.  “I have assisted with it.”  He said proudly.  Thorin was shocked at that, anyone would be.  But then you nodded towards Kili as the prank began to play. 

 

000

 

Fili was taking a drink, thinking of how he could fix this mess his brother had gotten into.  Kili really liked you, but the idiot went about everything the wrong way.  He tried to warn Kili to just be upfront with his feelings, but he didn’t listen.  Now you were cross with him, wouldn’t even speak with him, and you were now attending the party with the elf king no less.  Good grief. 

 

He set the drink down as he saw an elf lord walk up to Kili. 

 

“Lord Kili, I was wondering if I may have this dance.”  The elf lord spoke with a smile.  The whole head table froze at the question.

 

“W…what?”  Kili asked, shocked into silence.

 

“I asked if I may have this dance.” 

 

“Why-why would you dance with me?!”  Kili gasped.  Fili heard you snicker, as well as Thorin, and he quickly realized what was happening.

 

“I have been told you favor Elf lords.  But perhaps you have a certain type?”  The elf asked curiously as he signaled for his friend to join him.  “Perhaps a darker haired one?”  The second elf bowed and gave Kili a wink. 

 

000

 

You watched as Kili just sat there with his jaw on the floor for a moment, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore.  You broke out into a fit of laughter, as did Thorin.  Thranduil chuckled as he stood from the table and walked over and set a hand on Kili’s shoulder. 

 

“Or perhaps you prefer one of a more noble blood?”  He asked loudly before leaning down and whispering something into Kili’s ear.  You were too far into your laughter, trying to find air alongside Thorin.  You didn’t see Kili’s face turn red as he looked over to you. 

 

You and Thorin finally got your air back as Kili walked over to you and seemed nervous as he looked down to you.  “I would like to ask for this dance, Y/n…if you would?”   He held out a hand to you with a gentle smile. 

 

You couldn’t help the slight blush over your cheeks as you nodded and took his hand in yours, letting him guide you onto the floor.  Kili was quick to wrap an arm around your waist as he began to dance.  It started in silence until Kili finally spoke up.

 

“I’m sorry…for all the pranks.  I didn’t realize it was making you so upset.”  He spoke shyly. 

 

You chuckled as you leaned into him.  “Well…you probably should have after you made me sick with the bugs.”  Kili chucked with you as he lifted up his arm and spun you under it.  When he pulled you back in, he held you close and looked down into your eyes. 

 

“Perhaps…perhaps you would forgive me?  You did get a grand revenge.”  He nodded towards the group of elf lords that were speaking with Thranduil, all of them with smiles on their face.  “The company will joke about that for years, I’m sure.” 

 

The two of you stayed on the dance floor for most of the rest of the night.  To your amusement, some elf lords would come over every now and then and ask if they could step in, to dance with Kili.  He took it in stride, chuckling each time, giving them a polite no before pulling you close again. 

 

And by the end of the night, when Kili walked you back to your room, a truce had been called between you both, and a new braid, a courting braid to be exact, was in your hair.  Kili gave you a soft kiss before saying goodnight. 

 

The company was glad that night, to see that all of the childish pranks were done, that you and Kili were finally courting.  But the next morning, the dreaded it, because all of the energy Kili had put towards pranking you…now had a new target…all of them. 


End file.
